When Your Reality is Shattered

Today I have the first part of a guest blog by author, Brenda Perlin. Enjoy.

My tanning bed nightmare started shortly after I met Bo. One afternoon, I received a phone call from my dermatologist telling me that he had some very serious news to share with me. This shocked me because it came from out of left field. He proceeded to tell me that the small—no larger than a typical blemish—dark spot on my butt was the worst kind of skin problem: a “melanoma” skin cancer.

As he explained the details, I felt light headed, numb and definitely not present; it felt like I was floating over my body.

He told me in no uncertain terms that, “This is very serious.”

I felt bad for him, and scared for me, because I could hear his voice trembling. This was not an easy task for him. Wanting to make him feel better, I remained nonchalant and pleasant. As the conversation continued, I further digested what he was saying. The wires in my brain were slowly starting to connect. This was not a small little inconvenience, it could be another life threatening turn of events. This was all starting to sound extremely bad.

In February 2009, I noticed a small mark (like a freckle) on the very top of my butt. I had not noticed it previously and had heard that if you found a new mole or growth on your skin, you should have it checked by a doctor. Any new blemish or growth could be a sign of something sinister.

Shortly thereafter, I made a phone call to my primary doctor in Mission Viejo, California. The next day, I received a call back from my doctor’s office telling me that she would not refer me to a dermatologist without doing an examination herself. At that point, I was not overly concerned that the new freckle on my butt was anything life threatening, so I casually waited a few months before scheduling an appointment in August 2009 with that doctor. I rationalized to myself that I was probably being a hypochondriac, overreacting to every magazine article about various diseases and afflictions, so I just put this one out of my mind.

In August 2009, I was in my doctor’s office and remembered to show her the new freckle/mole on my butt. She took a quick look at it and said it was nothing to be worried about. I was relieved to hear good news from a doctor for a change, so I put it out of my mind. Basically, I crossed it off my list and planned on never thinking about it again.

Fast forward eight months later. While I was having some cosmetic procedures done at my dermatologist’s office, I contemplated whether or not I should ask about the same freckle on my butt. I felt guilty asking for this additional time. Certainly, there were other patients in the waiting room and, after all, my exam was completed, except for that freckle. 

In my most jovial voice, I asked the doctor if he thought this freckle was anything to be concerned about. I thought he would brush it off as fast as my other doctor had done. He took a good look at it and said that he didn’t think it was anything to be concerned about, but added that suspicious growths should always be biopsied, especially new growths. I liked his thoroughness and, maybe the attention too, so I agreed.

He did a biopsy and sent it to the lab for testing. I felt my worries were surely over. I was being safe, and felt good about taking care of myself in this fashion. I felt very mature. I never would have imagined that this small little mark would be anything that could have the power to alter the rest of my life. It made me start thinking about all the things that were important to me and all the friends and loved ones I would miss if I were gone. 

Stay tuned for the rest of this story. It is an interesting one.

Here are the links to find Brenda Perlin online.

Her wonderful books:

Shattered Reality
Burnt Promises

Youtube Book Trailers
Shattered Reality Brooklyn and Bo chronicles (Book One)

Burnt Promises Brooklyn and Bo Chronicles (Book Two)

website
Blog
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Goodreads

The lady herself

See ya next time.