The End of Life as I Knew It

It occurred to me that, although many of my readers may know that I have multiple sclerosis, they may not be aware of how it all started. So today, I am going to tell you.

I want to take you back to June 5, 2000. The alarm sounded and I rolled over to turn it off.  But my left arm didn't move so I silenced it with my right hand. Then I tried to climb out of bed but as soon as I put weight on my legs, the left one collapsed. I didn't have a lot of time to worry about it though because nature was calling. I crawled the short distance to the bathroom and hauled my body on the toilet. After I had finished there I was able to put some weight on the leg and I pulled myself up to the vanity and leaned against it. While brushing my teeth, I noticed that e left side of my face wasn't moving. It was as if someone had drawn an invisible line down the centre of my body. One side worked while the other didn't. Something was wrong but what?

The weird thing about this is that I wasn't terrified. I didn't call for an ambulance or find my way to the nearest hospital. No, I went to work. I did call and make a doctor's appointment as soon as they opened and the doctor sent me to the emergency room at St. Paul's Hospital.

Picture this. I am sitting in the emergency room at a large hospital in down town Vancouver and I have lost most of the use and feeling in my left side. Did I mention that my maternal grandmother died of brain tumour at this hospital in 1937? You can bet I thought about that possibility.

It took me over six hours before I was able to see a doctor. He poked and prodded me and asked me the same questions my doctor had. Then he left to get a neurology intern who came and did the same thing! All they would tell me was that it wasn't a brain tumour. Relief! But I still didn't know what the problem was.

In total, I was at the hospital for seven and a half hours before being allowed to leave. With no answers by the way. I was fed up by that time and just wanted to go home. I had the phone number of a neurologist to call and make an appointment so I guess events were promising.

On June 7, I went to the neurologist who did the same thing the other doctors had. The change this time was that he sent me for an MRI.

I was lucky. I managed to get in for an MRI within a week - usually it takes months to get one - and nine days after I woke to find my world turned upside down, I was called in the neurologist's office and given a diagnosis:

Multiple Sclerosis.

Actually, he said a suspicion of multiple sclerosis but it is more dramatic the way I said it.

The diagnosis was actually a relief in many ways. In 1986, at the age of nineteen, I went horse-back riding and the horse had a heart attack and fell on me, cracking my skull. Obviously, I recovered but I was left with strange things happening to my body. Like sudden numbness in my legs or arms that would go away. I was getting unexplained pain all over my body. Doctors never had an answer but now someone may have given me a reason why these things kept happening to me. As my late father said,

"The Devil you know is better than the one you don't".

I was told to take five weeks off work to rest and I thought great! I wanted some time off anyway. I will rest then go back to work and my life will continue as normal. Was I ever wrong!

Are you curious as to what happened next in my life? Tune in again and I will tell you.

The photos are from Morgue File except the one of St. Paul's Hospital. I took that one.

See ya next time!

Are You Living the Life You Want?

If you aren't, why not?

Do you feel as if your life is moving too slowly and the road to your goals is going to take forever? I know that feeling, as if my dreams were never going to come true. I have felt like I was banging my head against the proverbial wall and the only thing I am getting for it is a massive headache.

I'll tell you a bit about me. In June of 2000, I woke to find myself partially paralysed on one side of my body.  Nine days later, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and four months after that, I was forced to go on disability and leave the best job I had ever had. I thought my life was over.

I was single and living alone. I thought the only thing left for me was reality shows like Dancing with Stars or Real Housewives of wherever! I didn't think I would ever do anything exciting again. Oh, I was so wrong!

It is now 14 years later and I am living the life I want. I have five published books, one an award winner; I have gotten rid of the cane I walked with for thirteen years and I am working towards a career as a motivational speaker. And life coach. My days aren't bleak any longer and I don't dread facing the new day. In fact, I look forward to it.

I still have things I want to accomplish like being more financially successful and losing weight and I am working on those. I have no doubt I will accomplish those goals in the near future.

Now I want to help others realize their goals. I want to work with people who are feeling overwhelmed with life and get them back on the right track. My clients will even get a free copy of my one and only non-fiction book, On The Right Side, My Story of Survival and Success that tells about my journey with MS.

Does this sound like something you, or someone you know, would be interested in? If so, visit this page for more information.

And remember, as long as you aren't six feet under, you are on the right side and anything is possible. Let me help you accomplish what may seem impossible.

The photos are from Morgue File.

ON THE RIGHT SIDE

Strange Happenings

Everything happens for a reason. We are told that and I am sure that many roll our eyes and think yeah right. But it does.

Bear with me while I take you back to April of 2013. That is when I stopped using my cane to assist me walking. That was also when I knew the time was right for me to write my book On The Right Side, My Story of Survival and Success, which tells about my journey with multiple sclerosis. This book was not only cathartic to write but will also help others. I hope.

But to get my message out to as many people as possible, I knew I needed more than just the book so I decided to explore the possibility of motivational speaking.

Fast forward to end of February, beginning of March of this year. I happened to see Bradley Shende on Global TV morning news and he was talking about the BIL conference coming to Vancouver. The organizers were looking for volunteers and speakers. So I started looking for more information but I couldn't find anything until someone on my Facebook friend's list posted about the conference. (I was spelling it wrong) So I found the correct website, posted something and things started moving from there.

It's funny. When I first posted, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach and I knew I was stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something right.

I had a great time and Bradley and I discussed getting together so he could give me some ideas. Originally, we were supposed to have coffee around the first few weeks of April but that didn't happen. Bradley is a very busy man and couldn't find the time. We finally set up a time to meet on May 2.

Now I am going to take you back even further. To a cloudy day in August of 1990. That day a friend and I went to Canada Olympic Park in Calgary to see a free concert featuring Paul Laine, The Pursuit of Happiness and Bryan Adams. I met one of the men from Paul's band and Paul and I ended up connecting a few months later. Years pass, life goes on and we lose touch.

Thanks to Facebook, I managed to reconnect with Paul and on April 27, I went to see his new band, Darkhorse. Great show, I had a blast. I got to talk at length with Paul and his friend Les Horne and even had my photo taken with Paul, which I put on my phone. I didn't realize it beforehand, but Paul had been working on music behind the scenes and this was the first time in years he had performed like this. I was even more honoured to be there.

Are you with me so far? Because things are about to get a little weird.

Friday, May 2, I am sitting in the waiting room of the office that Bradley shares with another company. He was an hour and a half late but because he was, I saw something I didn't realize existed. A backpack with a section especially for a laptop. I just got my first laptop and was going out after our meeting to get something to carry it in. So if Bradley had been on time I wouldn't have seen that and it is ideal for me.

Bradley and I were sitting having coffee and I showed him something on my phone. He looks at the photo and says 'that's Paul Laine.'. I said yeah.

Paul had created music for one of Bradley's projects and the office where I had sat waiting for Bradley used to be Paul's.

Now you may say that is just coincidence but is it really? Think about it. I get rid of my cane, decide to venture into motivational writing and speaking at the same time the BIL Conference makes it debut in Vancouver and through there I meet some awesome people who I hope to be friends with for many years.

My meeting with Bradley were delayed to until after I saw an uber-talented musician perform whom we both know. Something was guiding circumstances to create just the perfect connection. I think it was fate and it means that I am involved with the right people and on the right track to accomplishing my goals.

Think about that the next time a meeting is delayed or you miss a plane or are late. Everything happens for a reason and in its own time, we just don't always see why.

At least that's my opinion. The photos are from Morgue File.

See ya next time!

How Green Grew

On the weekend of March 22 and 23, I had the privilege of being involved with the BIL Conference. I met some really great people and one of the, David J. Hiebert, is contributing to today's entry.

David is the author of Gratefully Green, a children's book that explains the benefit of living a green lifestyle.

I haven't always been green. I’m still not “perfectly” green. Why wasn't my life “green”? There was a problem with the roots.

After years of marriage, I divorced. I jumped into a series of relationships. Common law, an affair with a married woman, a marriage that ended when I cheated. I stopped. I lived alone. I took stock of my life. I saw that what my life had grown into was very weedy,confusing and not very attractive. During this ”gardening” I was clinically diagnosed as having ADHD. I received treatment, benefited from an adult ADHD support group and started to weed, prune and cultivate my life.

Then an “inner voice” asked me if I would be willing to be an apprentice for sixty years to work for one? That was not such a strange question considering that I had just had my second blood transfusion. I had had ALL the tests. Cancer? No. A virus? No. Finally there were no more tests to take. Then followed years of monitored maintenance. More blood transfusions. Weekly and bi-weekly Iron infusions. My doctor said she was glad that she had saved my life.

I decided to live my life more honourably by being Creative, Compassionate and Humble. It was during this time of deconstructing and rebuilding my life that a concept came to me. The concept was that each letter of the word GREEN had a meaning to explain what “Going Green” might mean. It started with, “G is for Grateful”, “R is for Respectful” etc. Each “explanation” became wordy and plodding. These ramblings morphed into snappy poems. I drew the illustrations.

And so the concept grew. The leaves became pages that turned into a book. The process to an ISBN numbered children’s book called Gratefully Going GREEN took five years.

I have read Gratefully Going GREEN at a school, it’s in a local book store and I’ve presented it at the recent BIL conference. Where will the book go next? I don’t really know. It’s still growing. .

Thank you. David (J. Hiebert)

Thank you David for an entertaining, and enlightening, article.

The photos are from me and Morgue File.

See ya next time.

When Did You Grow Up?

Today's entry is from Brian Randleas. Take it away Brian.

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? Most of us went through a list of possible dream professions. When we learned that there were not many openings for real cowboys, who rode the range, fought Indians and outlaws, and drank rye whiskey from a dirty glass, we moved on. We discovered that to be a princess you needed to have more than a tiara and a pink evening gown with frilly edges. Your parents had to be royalty. We judge from mom's old housecoat, and dad's comfortable but worn out shirt and boxers, this was not happening. Gradually we worked our way through a world of possibilities, until as we grew taller our list grew shorter and more practical.

For instance. To be an astronaut one is required to learn things. Things like math and algebra. To be a famous athlete one must be borne with amazing talent, or resign themselves to work each and every day to make the cut.

That being said. If you didn't like math, or the idea of spending hours a day doing actual exercise didn't make you giddy then chances are your list was pretty short.

What about those of us who never got that dream job or our face was never on the cover of a Wheaties box? How did we know we had grown up? Well first I suppose we must try to define a measure of what it means to be grown up.

Would being old enough to vote count as being grown up? Society after all and even our own government have decided that at the age of 18 we are grown up, and responsible enough to be able to vote. What about our first real job where we were not required to ask, “Would you like fries with that?”, or “May I super size that for you?” Perhaps it was having our own car, apartment, or even kids of our very own. Along with each of these choices came responsibilities as well as bills of our very own.

I must confess. With each of these new milestones I still had no sense of being grown up. Although I did have a new sense of responsibility, a grown up to me was someone like my parents. That was definitely not me.

Then one day it happened. There had been no warning. No one sent out a memo. Nothing was marked on the calendar to prepare me. One of my children wanted to go somewhere, or do something. My mind raced ahead to all of the dangers, and things that could or would go wrong, and end with my child endangering themselves or another. Of course I said no. At this point dad had done his duty as a parent and been responsible. Of course my child asked me the question all young and foolish young children are want to ask. “Why not?”

Now if you were reading earlier you know and I know that I genuinely did have reasons. My list of reasons was way to long to make for anything other, than a long and drawn out answer, which would of no doubt surpassed the attention span time limit of a youngster. I also thought better of suggesting things to an impressionable young mind that had not occurred to them before. So of course I gave the old standard adult answer.

I immediately flashed back to my childhood as I heard my father’s voice escaping from my own lips, and saying those four words. “Because I said so.” I wanted to take it back, to not believe it was so, but it was too late. I had said it. Unfortunately everyone knows that once said, words cannot be taken back. They are out there.

I sat down sighing in my comfortable worn out shirt and boxers, and feeling very much like a grown up.

Thank you Brian for that story. Quite interesting and I am sure that many parents can relate.

If you want to connect with Brian Randleas, you can cruise over to his blog and check out his Facebook page.

Thanks to Morgue File for the photos.

See ya next time.

Bouncing Back

Recently, I had an event on Facebook. It didn't turn out to be the roaring success I had hoped it would be and I was understandably disappointed. Heck, I was ticked off! My co-host and I, along with numerous other kind people, put a lot of time and effort into getting this event arranged.

It is so frustrating when I run promotions, which other writers have had great success on, and I see very little. It is heartbreaking to hear about the great successes of other authors and not seeing them myself. Especially if I am doing basically the same thing. Is it a problem with my presentation? Is my product not that good? Will I ever get to the level of success I want to? What is wrong with me? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

To be honest, those questions don't disturb my slumber. Because when I get discouraged or down about this, I start making plans. I have a list of promotions and ways to increase my sales. I know that some will work better than others. 

That's the only way to be, I think. Lick your wounds, do something totally different for a little while (I watched Fast and Furious 6 and drooled over the men)  then get back to the task at hand later. We can't let the disappointments that happen in life discourage us from going on. Just think how life would be if everyone gave up after a few disappointments? We wouldn't have the technology we do. We would still be living in caves!

I am embarking on a new career - author/speaker/life coach - and am billing myself as a Positive Energy Mentor. But I am human and there are times when I will have difficulty being positive and happy. I may snap at people, I may hurt their feelings. I don't mean to, I regret it and am trying to be more careful. However, it will happen. Because I am human and I am not perfect.

But I am not giving up. I will continue to keep working towards my goals and trying to find the way that works for me. I will keep bouncing back.

Photos from Morguefile Free photos.

See ya next time!